Hi all! Sorry for the long absence. This has been a rough little time in the family arena of life. My Dad's youngest brother was involved in a tragic accident a few weeks ago and we are still dealing with the after effects. Those of you who have lost loved ones certainly understand what my Dad is going through. Let me say that I love my old man. He is one of the kindest souls that I know of. His family is a different story for me. I haven't said too much to his mother and father for the past 10 or so years. You would have to know the history to understand why. I wont get into it here. His way of dealing with the pain was to insure that his brother left this world with dignity. This was
accomplished in a very loving fashion. I have several good memories of Nickey, and would like to share some with you. Nickey was a trucker, and a mechanic. He always had the cool cars to me. The one I remember best was a mid 70's Mustang II Cobra, white with blue racing stripes. Man that was a cool car for sure. I also remember he had the biggest smile EVER!!! I know he is with GOD and looking down at all of us, probably smiling bigger than all outside!!! Thanks for indulging me. The following is a copy of my Mom's columm that will run the local paper soon. Many thanks to all the friends that called to wish there sympathies on us during this tragic time.
The T****** family has had a rough few weeks. As many of you already know, Gary's youngest brother Nickey died on March 22. Nickey lost his life in a tragic accident that happened at his home in Liberty. He and his 15 year old son Travis (yes, there are two Travis T*******) were working on Nickey's small pickup truck when it rolled off the portable ramps and pinned him underneath. He yelled for his son to get out and thankfully he did but Nickey was unable to get out from under the truck. He lost oxygen to his brain for too long a time. Even though he was rushed to Randolph Hospital and soon thereafter airlifted to Chapel Hill, the damage had been done. This happened on Tuesday, March 18 and he never regained consiousness. Life support was taken off on Saturday, March 22. I know I've left out a lot of the small details but they don't matter. A wfie has lost a husband, a young man lost his father, two dear parents have buried a child and three brothers lost their "baby" brother. And all his many friends and fellow truckers? It was obvious by the long line at the funeral home, these folks have lost a devoted friend.
Gary's family has never been like my family. The S***'s pretty much send out the SOS signal if one of us sneezes more than once. We have been called "the Waltons". That name was given to us many years ago when our Travis was in the hospital for emergency surgery and so many of my family members camped out at the hospital during his entire stay. When a new baby is on the way, my family takes up residence in the waiting room on the maternity floor of the hospital and waits, sometimes for hours. We talk every day about pretty much every thing. We know who's going on vacation, when we're leaving, when we arrive and when we get back home. We hug. A lot. That's just how we are. It doesn't mean we love each other any more than another family. It just means we have the need to stay very connected.
On the other hand,Gary's family has always taken the approach that they'll stay out of the way unless needed and wait at home for any news. As they have gotten older and have more health issues Gary has started letting his parents know when we're traveling and our itenerary, just in case of an emergency. Gladys and Robert had four sons, no daughters,five grandsons and no granddaughters. Since boys don't hug a lot, there wasn't much of that going on either. Oh, I've seen Gladys try to corral these grown boys into a hug but they always kind of half-heartily hug her back. They don't love her any less, they're just not comfortable with all that" touchy-feely stuff. Doesn't bother her one bit, she enjoys the half-hugs. There's not a lot of telephone talk either. Communication is not their strong point. When they need to talk, they talk. When either Robert or Gladys is in the hospital, these men come together. Whenever there is a family emergency, the phone lines start heating up and things get done. They may not communicate on a daily basis as much as my family or another family might but when they need to communicate, they get the news out.
A few hours after Nickey's accident, we were all gathered at Chapel Hill Hospital. Nickey's wife Robin, their son Travis and Robins' mother Dean were there as well as Robert, Gladys and Billy, the oldest of the sons. Gary and I got there soon thereafter followed by Wesley and Sheila. Gary is next to oldest and Wesley is the third son.
As we all stood around Nickey's bedside and listened to the doctors as they gave us very little hope, I looked aournd at these three brothers and my mother and father-in-law and I knew then that it doesn't always matter if you talk to each other every single day, if you know every single thing or even if you hug every single time you're together. What matters is the history you share as a family. Your family may not be like my family. Just being family is what counts.
One had fallen. The others lifted him up in prayer. They held onto each other and lent support to Nickey's wife and son. I've been a daughter-in-law to Gladys T****** for almost 34 years. I looked at my mother-in-law and could not imagine the depth of her grief in knowing that she was going to bury one of her children. I had no words. I've not lost a child.
I knew a woman a few years ago who lost her son when he was 38 years old. She taught me a valuable lesson. Never tell someone that you know how they feel unless you've been down that road.
This has been a sad column for me to compose. We didn't see and visit with Nickey and his family very often. He drove a truck and was gone for a week or more at a time. Our lives didn't cross paths too much. You know how you take family for granted. "Oh we''ll see them at Christmas or at one of Mom's get togethers." But we alwyas knew he was out there somewhere. And just when we were least expecting it, I would answer the telephone and hear his big, booming voice coming across the miles and he'd be wanting to ask Gary about something.
Many people will miss that big voice and that big hearty laugh. He had a ton of friends as was evident in the long line of folks that came to the funeral home. We heard stories of his strong faith in the Lord and his goodness to his friends. We were so blessed by the friends and extended family who paid their respects to his memory and to all of us...his family. It felt like one great big hug. Thank you all.
